My pastor preached a message a month or two ago and one of the questions he asked has stuck with me. He asked, "When you think of Jesus coming to earth so that He could redeem us...When you see Him hanging on the cross...Do you see Him as an innocent victim or a willing participant?" Jesus was most definitely innocent but I like to think that I see Him as a willing participant. He came to earth knowing full well what the end result would be. He knew that He was going to be persecuted, beaten, and hung on the cross but He came to the earth anyway. The pain was worth the result.
This concept keeps mulling around in my head. Likely because it puts into words something my heart has been feeling for a long time. As humans, we tend to go through our share of struggles. Sometimes, when we are in the midst of the storm, it is hard to see Jesus. It is hard to see that any good can come from what we are walking through. What if we could see our struggle from God's point of view? Do you think it would change how we choose to walk through the trial?
As some of you know, at one point in my life I was arrested on a felony fraud charge. I wasn't guilty, it was all misunderstanding regarding someone else's use of my checkbook. I ended up spending four days in the county jail before I could stand before a judge. That was a rough minute in my life. I wasn't convicted but about 10 years later, the arrest was brought up during a licensing process for a company I was working for. I ended up having to contact the court to get that arrest expunged off of my record. It was a long drawn out process with a lot of paperwork. I wasn't sure who to contact for each piece of the puzzle but eventually I got the arrest removed from my record. I remember, at the time I was going through the expungement, how angry I was that I was having to deal with this issue. I felt like God had forsaken me and that the devil was trying to use my past against me.
Fast forward a few years and I had become friends with a girl at work. She had been through trials in her life that I couldn't even begin to imagine. She had been living with her Mom out of obligation and had finally decided to set some boundaries in her life. She decided to get her own apartment. Everywhere she applied, she was rejected because of a felony conviction from long ago. She was devastated. She had given her life to Christ and was walking a completely different path but her past was coming back to haunt her. She confided in me about her struggle and I asked her if she had ever attempted to have her record expunged. She didn't know what expungement meant. I was honored and blessed to walk her through the expungement process so that she could get on living the life God was calling her to. I remember thinking at the time, "Thank you Lord for allowing me to face that battle so that I could be here to help my friend."
I see this type of thing play out over and over again. My Mom needed to have surgery. When they were doing her pre-op exams, they thought something was wrong with her heart. They told her she couldn't have her surgery until she had a heart cath to rule out any issues. I remember how my Mom came out after the cath very relieved but also very frustrated that they hadn't found anything wrong. She felt like it had all been a waste of time. My Mom's friend had driven her to the surgery center and her and my Mom were discussing some issues that she'd been having with her own heart. My Mom's cardiologist overheard the conversation and interrupted to ask my Mom's friend to go over her symptoms. The cardiologist told my Mom's friend that it sounded like she had a hole in her heart and to make an appointment. Sure enough, my Mom's friend went to the cardiologist and ended up having surgery to fix the hole. She had been dealing with the issue for a very long time and was so happy to finally have an answer/relief. I remember thinking then...I wonder if someone had said to my Mom, "Hey, there is nothing wrong with your heart but if you spend $100 for a copay and have a heart cath done, your friend will be relieved from years of suffering" would she have chosen to pay the money and go through the hassle?
It sometimes helps me to deal with hard times or things I don't understand. I take a minute to think of all of the possible good that could come from any given situation and then I ask myself if it would be worth it. Would it be worth it for me to leave everyone I know and love in Kansas City if it means that God is going to use me to shine His light into some dark places in Florida. Yes! Would it be worth it for my friend to fight to hang on to a rocky marriage when everything in her wants to run away if it meant that eventually her husband would be delivered from the grips of the devil. Absolutely!! It's hard...really hard...when you can't see what God's plan is..so we have to hang on to who we know that He is.
God's word says, "And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them."(Rom 8:28) We don't know why He has us face the storms of this life but He promises to make good come from them. If we can remember that, is it possible that we can go from innocent victims to willing participants? Can we stand before God in our times of trial and say, "I don't have one clue why you are allowing this but I know You'll make good come of it so bring it on?"
