Anger Management Epiphany

I had an epiphany just a few minutes ago that I wanted to share. I just realized why God put me in this IT position with my company. I have been doing some form of customer service for my entire life and all of a sudden- He randomly guided me in the direction of IT.

Someone came over to me (Monica- you know who you are) with an issue with our system today. Someone else in the department had been told about the issue a few days ago but he didn't know the full story so he didn't look into it any further. I started working on the issue and got more and more frustrated by the minute because I was told that it was broken but couldn't get a clear understanding of what they were saying the issue was. I sent an e-mail to the UK because they had put a change in the system that was causing adverse effects. I don't know how many of you have worked in the corporate world and dealt with IT much but IT personnel aren't always the clearest with communication. They tend to speak Geek. So here I was super duper frustrated that something on my watch wasn't working correctly and I was powerless to fix it and the rage just starting building in side of me. I can always feel it when it is coming on. I can feel that point in which I am about to lose my composure. I am getting better at recognizing it and keeping the pot from boiling over but sometimes it's really difficult. I felt it and suddenly God made it very clear to me that this in and of itself was the #1 reason that He guided me to my new position. In IT there are a lot of things that you are powerless to control.

I am a control freak. I believe that a lot of that comes from my inability to control the circumstances of my childhood. When I was old enough to control my own life- I grabbed the bull by the horns. I needed a job that would test my control limits often so that I will learn to trust God with ALL things. I have the same issues in my personal life. When the boys start acting like goofballs and I've done all of the things that I know to do and nothing is working..I feel the rage start to boil up inside of me. I usually do a great job of keeping that anger in check but I grew up with a family of yellers. I HATE being a yeller. I pray often for God to continue to work on me in that area. I am waaaay better than I was 10 years ago but I still have a lot of room for growth.

So I am in this position to learn how to control my frustration and my anger when I can't control the circumstances around me. I am learning how to give the controls to God in ALL things. I am thankful that God will refine us in the fire when He knows it's best for us.

Have a blessed weekend.

Resurrection Sunday

I want everyone to know that I got on-line several times over the weekend to create this post but there seems to be something wrong with the keyboard on my laptop. It just jumps around and starts putting characters in random places. So I finally gave up until I could get to work and use my docking station.

I hope everyone had a very Blessed Easter. I was truly in awe of the overwhelming love I felt this weekend. Love for my family, my church and love for my saviour.

It was a rough week on the diet front. Actually it's been a rough few weeks but I have resolved to push forward. I am not sure what sparked it. I really think it happened when I got sick a few weeks back. When I am sick..I want a cheeseburger. So I had one. That was the BEST cheeseburger ever. Then I went to the retreat where there were more snacks than you could find at a 7-11. I tried...I promise ya'll that I tried but you can only resist chocolate dipped oreos and homemade kettle corn so long. Then I think the devil seized the opportunity.

For those of you who think the Devil is down in Hell- I have news for you. He is right here walking around the earth.

Job 1:7 The LORD said to Satan, "From where do you come?" Then Satan answered the LORD and said, "From roaming about on the earth and walking around on it."

1 Peter 5:8 Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.

The devil is all around us. He is just waiting to seize the opportunity. He convinced me that I had already messed up on my diet. That I was already gaining weight again and I might as well just give up. I have to admit..I believe him. I sure got my feel of greasy goodness. Long John Silvers, Waffle House, Pizza Hut- you name it..I ate it. I knew that I was headed down the wrong path..and I knew that the only way to get back on the right path was to get enough truth into my head to push the devil out. Philippians 1:6 says "being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus". God began a good work in me. He will stick with me..even when I eat junk at the retreat. Even if I feel like I need a cheeseburger when I'm sick. He's not going to give up on me and this verse is a constant reminder to not give up on myself.

I am so thankful that He died just for us. I am so much more thankful that He rose again just like He said He would. I hope that you know how much He LOVES You!!