When I talk about "those" types of thoughts, it could look a million different ways. I made a comment in a meeting and a co-worker jokingly replied, "It's not all about you Holly." She was really just trying to joke with me but I spent the next twenty minutes trying to stop the thoughts that were whirling inside my head. "Am I being selfish?" "No one here likes me!" "I was wrong to have moved down here." "Don't be silly Holly, she didn't mean anything by it." "What if she really did?"
Another example, God had been orchestrating a friendship over the last few years. He made it clear at the Women's Retreat that this was a friendship that was going to matter in the long term and one that I should invest in. I sent my new friend a text message just letting her know that I was thinking about her and praying for her. The next day, God put her on my heart again and I went to send her a text. Let the voices commence! "You are probably annoying her." "She has enough going on in her life besides worrying about responding to you." "You are going to scare her off if you keep texting her." It is maddening the thoughts that we have. What's really funny is that I have another member of my tribe who has recently encouraged me about my gift of encouragement. Why don't I listen to THAT truth that says, me texting people to let them know I am praying for them, is a GOOD thing. The awesome news is that, as I practice, I am getting MUCH faster at stopping my thoughts and putting them where they belong. I am refusing to let the enemy gain ground in my mind.
This blog really is not just about the thoughts that I have inward, but my outward thoughts as well. A dear friend of mine who has been the answer to many prayers reached out to me last week. She said that she knew I had been struggling with my inner thoughts and wanted to share a teaching she had come across. It is called Crash the Chatterbox. You can listen to it by clicking here. Isn't it awesome how God uses us in each other's lives. We have to share the good stuff we come across and not just keep it to ourselves.
Anywho, this series is all about the inner chatterbox and how to crash it. It was a super awesome reminder of all of the tips, techniques, and teachings that I have had on the subject of my thoughts towards myself. It also taught me something new that I had never considered about the chatterbox. In my world, the chatterbox that directs my thoughts about what is going on around me is just as poisonous to me as the one that directs my thoughts about myself. The chatterbox that talks about outside situations will help me to stay stuck in a bad frame of mind and it often fuels a rage in me.
What does this outside thinking chatterbox look like? I have started parking in the back parking lot of our building. There are several reasons for this but the two main ones are this. I have a new role at my company which means I spend most of the day in my office. Coming in the back way allows me greet everyone and say hello before I go to my desk. The other reason is that something evil happens when you come in the front door. It is as if the devil himself greets you at the front door and sucks all of your joy, so I decided to switch it up on him. It really seems to be helping. Now, the other day, one of my coworkers advised me that it wouldn't be long before I was told that I can't park in the back. I didn't really understand why but it was explained to me that some people like to be able to keep an eye on the comings and goings of the staff. The other day, as I was driving into the parking lot at work, the chatterbox started in on his nonsense. "I dare her to ask me why I'm parking in the back." "You know what I'll say to her." "She better not even, she is messing with the wrong person." On and on it went. I was preparing for a battle that may never happen but by the time I got my car parked, my joy was gone. Not one thing had happened besides my thoughts. No one had confronted me. No one had approached me. Why was I letting my own stupid thoughts kill my joy?
It was then that it hit me, that the chatterbox isn't just about being kind to myself. It is about stopping all of the nonsense in my head. I will see someone post something ridiculous on Facebook and it makes me angry. "Why in the world did she say that?" "Did she not realize that she was going to hurt someone's feelings doing that?" "I have half a mind to tell her about herself." "Do you remember when she said that ridiculous thing to me?" "What is wrong with her?" All this thinking does, is get me wound up. It brings no joy. It just steals it. The thief comes only to steal, kill, and destroy. Take your thoughts back from him. When you feel yourself mulling thoughts over and over in your head about a situation that is taking your focus away from God, just shut him down.
What does your thought life look like? Have you learned to love yourself but still let the chatterbox have your thoughts about situations you can't control? Try to keep an awareness of when the thoughts in your mind are coming rapid fire, intentionally stop them and ask yourself, is this way of thinking bringing me closer or farther away from God. If you struggle in this area, please take some time to watch the series. I think you will be blessed by it. Crash the Chatterbox
