Last weekend was the Desperation Church Women's Retreat. There are not enough words in my vocabulary to explain the goodness of that weekend so I won't even make an attempt. There is one thing that keeps milling around in my mind, so like always, I am assume I should just put it here for everyone else to mill around too.
At the retreat center, there are several bunk houses. Most of the bunk houses had five people in them but there is room to squeeze in one or two more. The ladies in my bunk house were a mixture of close friends, people who made me laugh, people I've cried with, and even one lady who I've been a little scared of over the years. I knew that we would have good times and I knew that none of these ladies were snorers so I was super excited to share life with them for a few days. I had no idea what God was about to do in that bunk house.
On Friday nights, there is usually a time of worship, followed by an amazing teaching, and then usually a campfire. It was rainy on Friday night and the wood was wet so we decided not to try. Our little group went back to our bunk house and started talking about life. Another friend from the bunk house next door came over with a HUGE bag of snacks. Slowly, other people would walk by our bunk house and hear the laughter or conversation and come and find a seat. As each one came in, the rest of us would scoot around and make room for them. I think that at one point there was something like 12-15 ladies in our little room. Some would rotate in and out as they made the rounds with other women who were gathered somewhere.
Something magical happened that night and it was super fun to watch. One lady would be brave enough to share about how she was arrested in front of her kids and a chorus of "ME TOO" would ring out and more arrest stories would come pouring out. (No, we aren't all a bunch of criminals) One lady would share about how she was struggling with their child in a particular area, and there would be a collective "ME TOO" and there would be more stories about the struggles of raising children. It was a group of ladies that were simply being real with each other. I can't speak for the rest of the women in that room Friday night but I can tell you that as everyone left the room that night, I felt a sense of belonging...a sense that I am not walking this journey alone.
This concept of "ME TOO" carried on throughout the weekend. A friend needed to share some hard stuff that was going on in her life and the more we talked, the more "ME TOO" moments we had. Small group time was filled with a lot of "ME TOO" and "I was going to say what she just said." Another friend and I were talking about how she had been crying all weekend and it was driving her crazy. Yep, you guessed it..."ME TOO". It facilitated a conversation about how we often feel like our tears are a sign of weakness. As we dug in, though, we agreed that most of the tears are simply about how overwhelmed we are by God's love for us. That conversation helped us land in a place where we thought, "may we ALWAYS be so overwhelmed with God's love for us that it leaks out of our eyes."
There is magic that happens when we are willing to share our vulnerable places with others. It allows them to share their vulnerable places right back. It helps to know that there are other people in this world who understand our struggles. It deepens friendships. Sharing is scary sometimes but here is what I do. I share just a little bit of truth with someone and see how they handle it. If they handle it tenderly, I trust them with a little more. Not only does it build my trust, it builds our friendship. It's good stuff...you should try it.
I will leave you with this quote. "If we could believe we are deeply connected in the fragile places, we could drop the games. When you tell me the truth about yourself, I no longer hide from you. You become safe for me. So guess what? You are now a recipient of my truth too. I am drawn to you. Your vulnerability makes a path for my own. Your truth-telling says to me, "I will not despise, judge, or abandon you." Ironically, it gives me the courage to be afraid, the strength to be weak." - Jen Hatmaker - For The Love book - HIGHLY recommended.
