Thankful for being broken

I entered adulthood as a broken person.  I had really been through some stuff and it had taken a toll on me in many ways.  It had effected me spiritually, emotionally, and physically.  I spent a good number of my early adult years drowning my feelings in a bottle.  I didn't really believe there was a God and if He did exist I was super duper mad at Him.   I was stuck in pity party mode.  Why????  Why did I have to go through everything?  Why didn't anyone care about me?  Why didn't I matter?

Many years later, after He captured every ounce of my heart, God and I had a talk about it.  I kept trying to get the "why" answers out of Him.  I would beg and plead for Him to just tell me why it was fair that I had been so broken.  I am here to tell you that God never give me the answers.  What He did instead was change my heart.  He changed my longing to know why into a desire to make sure that it wasn't wasted.  My begging for answers turned into a begging to be used by Him to make good come from my past.  He has been faithful to do just that.  He really does make beauty from ashes (if you let Him).  I pray that He continues to use me to bring His light into the lives of others.

As I was driving to work this morning, I became overwhelmed with this thought, "Lord, I am so thankful for having been broken!!"  Even having that thought was shocking to me.  I have never ever been thankful for certain aspects of my past.  I realized that had I not been broken, I likely wouldn't appreciate how amazing my God is.  I would probably take for granted the change that He has made in me.  People have asked me how I know that God is real and my answer has always been, "I know where I came from, I know who I was before Him, and I know what He brought me out of."  If I would've had the ideal life, would I have missed the blessing?

If I stop and ask myself, "Would you be willing to go through everything you went through, if it was necessary for you to have the relationship with God that you have now?"  The answer will always be YES!!

No More Texting

This is what God said to me about a year ago.  I was in a class where we were talking about praying without ceasing and being in constant fellowship with the Lord.  I kept thinking to myself, "I do a pretty good job of this."  A few days later, I could feel the nudge of God in my heart.  I could feel Him saying, "Do you Holly, do you really do a good job of staying in constant fellowship with me?"  God then made it very clear to me that while I take numerous times throughout the day to talk to Him, that isn't what He really wants.  He showed me that what I was doing was "texting" Him.  Something good would happen and I'd fire off a text, "thank you Lord for showing up, You're AWESOME."  Or perhaps I had a friend confide in me about something, I'd fire off a "Lord, please keep watch over my friend."  I think God really likes that I think to bring things to him throughout the day but He showed me that what He really wants is quality time.  I pushed back and said, "God, I'm so busy with things that I feel You've called me to do, I'm giving You the best that I've got!"  In that convicting way (you know...with Love) God spoke to my heart and said, "you've got a 37 mile commute, don't you think you could talk to me then."  Since that day, I turn the radio off every morning on my way to work and just talk to my Father.  Sometimes we ride in silence.  I used to feel guilty for not talking but I found that often, in the silence, God just comforts my soul.

Think about the time that you are giving to the Lord.  Are you resting in Him?  Are you in true fellowship with the one who loves you most?

A brand new start

As many of you know, God has had us on a whirlwind ride to a new chapter in our life.  We are currently living in the LaQuinta in Lake Mary, Fl while we wait for everything on our new house to be figured out.  I'm not sure why God chose this path for us but we are going to do our best to carry out His will.

I have been frequently reminded, over the past two months, about the message that I gave at the women's retreat.  I have decided that God puts most messages on our hearts because WE need them, not because others do.  Things have gone incredibly well in our endeavor.  Our house sold on day one at full asking price. A position came open at a hospital right down the street, and within 4 days Leanna was contacted, interviewed, and offered the position.  These things don't happen folks.  Somewhere along the way, my expectations got ahead of God's will and I started getting irritated at any slow down.  I was totally missing the blessing.  Instead of being so overwhelmed by God's goodness, I was upset that I wasn't getting my way in all things.

I have a friend who has had her house on the market over a year.  I have a friend whose cousin was just diagnosed with Leukemia.  I have several friends whose Moms are battling cancer just after losing their Dads to the same disease.  I have friends who are struggling daily to make their marriages work.  I have so many friends who are hurting.  Who the heck am I to complain about living in a hotel for a couple of weeks??

May we be those today, who think on the positive things in our life.  Think of the blessings that have been bestowed upon us.  Pray for those who are hurting, or better yet, come along side of them and help them through.