Be Brave With Your Words

There is a phrase that I use all the time.  I will be trying to explain something or attempting to put my thoughts into some sort of sentence that makes sense and I will get frustrated and just say "and all the words".  I get frustrated because I know that words are important and I want to be able to say what I am thinking.

I could write this blog post about how your words can help people or they can hurt people.  I could write about how words can be used like a weapon against someone or they can be used to lift someone up out of a very dark place.  I could write about that as those things are true, but that is talked about all of the time.  I feel like God wants me to share something different about our words.  I feel like He is teaching me to be brave with my words.

God is slowly showing me that it is okay for me to share my words with people.  For those who know me, they are laughing, as I've never been at a loss for words.  I can tell stories for days.  I am talking about words that are seemingly hard to say at the time.  Words that need to be said but we are too afraid to say them.

Words that we say to our significant others when they are doing things that are hurting us.

Words  that we say to a close friend when we see that they are heading down a wrong path.

Words that we say to our children when they need some tough love.

Words that we say to our families when the family feuds have been going on for too long.

Words that we say to co-workers when they are making mistakes and need guidance and correction.

Words that we say to therapists that will reveal our deepest darkest struggles.

Words that we say to God when we are just downright honest with how we are feeling.

Sharing those kinds of words are not always easy but they are so necessary.  I have found over the years that I do a really good job of biting my tongue and stuffing my words down deep. Keeping everything locked inside.  Trying not to make too many waves.   God is showing me how often I do this and is slowly teaching me to be brave with my words.  Just a month or so ago, this song by Sara Bareilles was brought to my attention.  It's called Brave and you can listen to it by clicking here.  That song has played in my head a million times since then.

There is a verse in the song that says: 

Everybody's been there,
 Everybody's been stared down by the enemy

 Fallen for the fear

 and done some disappearing,

 Bow down to the mighty,

 Don't run, just stop holding your tongue

Sometimes I've failed to say words because I know they will be faced with anger or rejection in return.  It seems easier stay silent.

Sometimes I have failed to say words because I don't want the other person  to feel like I think that I am better than them.   Nothing could be farther from the truth.

Sometimes I've failed to say words because I haven't felt worthy to have a voice.  God says I'm worthy.

Biting our tongue and holding back the words always seems like the easiest answer, but there is a price to pay for doing that.

• People in our lives continue hurting us because we haven't been clear with our expectations.  
• Our friends are missing out on the iron sharpening iron moments.  
• Our children go on thinking that the way they are behaving is okay.
• We continue to get caught up in the family feuds.  
• Our co-workers continue to frustrate us every single day and they don't even realize they are doing anything wrong.  
• Our therapists can't provide good solutions because we haven't been honest with the struggles.  
• God already knows our hearts but not taking our words to Him builds a wall between us.  

Don't get me wrong.  There is a time and place to hold our tongues.  I am not advocating for everyone to go on Facebook and tell every person exactly what you think.  I am just saying to take a minute and pause when you find yourself not saying something that needs to be said.  Are you holding your tongue out of fear?  Take it to the Lord and ask Him if now is the time to be brave with your words.

Stop Expecting the Stone To Move

I taught a message at a women's retreat once about not finishing God's sentences.   Before I started sharing the lesson that God had shown me, I shared the following story.

"In a dream, God told a man to go outside and push against a huge boulder in his front yard.  So every morning for the next few weeks, the man went outside and strained against the rock.  He pushed and groaned and prodded and shoved, but the rock never budged.  

Finally, in a fit of exasperation, the man fell to his knees and lifted his eyes to heaven.  "What were you thinking, Lord? " He cried, wiping sweat from his brow. "You told me to push this rock, and I've been pushing it for weeks, yet it has not moved an inch!"

A voice from heaven rumbled among the clouds, then whispered in the man's ear. "I told you to push the stone," God said, "I didn't tell you to move it.  I'm the only one who can move it, and when you're ready, I will.  By the way, look at your hands."

The man looked at his hands.  They had grown callused and tough with the work, and his arms bulged with muscles.  Though his efforts seemed fruitless, he had grown strong; and now he was beginning to grow wise."

The first time God taught me this lesson was in relation to meeting my Dad.  I knew that God had asked me to reach out to my Dad with a letter of forgiveness.  I did what God asked me to do and it really, really hurt.  It didn't look anything like I thought it would.  I was so angry at God for the way my Dad reacted to my letter.  God gently reminded me that He didn't tell me there would be restoration in our relationship.  He reminded me that He didn't tell me to expect instant healing in my heart regarding the abandonment that I had felt over the years.  He reminded me that He simply asked me to send the letter.  I am the one who put all of the other expectations around what God had asked of me.  (You can read more about the letter to my Dad by clicking HERE.)

It is overwhelming to me how many times God has had to remind me of that story and the message that I shared back in 2013.  He needs to constantly remind me to not finish His sentences.  He has to remind me that I need to leave my expectations out of it and simply walk in faith.   Today, as I was reading my morning devotional, He reminded me yet again.

I know that God asked us to move to Florida.  Here's the thing, He didn't tell us why. Today's devotional talked about how God told Abraham that he would be a father of nations but He didn't tell Abraham how or when.  Abraham tried to finish God's sentence for Him.   He tried to take matters into his own hands with Hagar.  There really wasn't anything Abraham could do but wait on God to walk out what He had promised.

God is teaching me that lesson too...to wait.   Everything in me wants to look over the past three years and try to put my finger on the reason that I think He sent us down here.  To somehow discover that His purpose has been fulfilled so that I can get back home.    What He is teaching me is that I need to quit trying to finish His sentences.  He didn't say, "Go to Florida until ____ is accomplished".  He said, "Go to Florida".  Just like the story that I started this post with, Florida is the stone that God has asked me to push.  I want to know why it isn't moving, but He didn't ask me to move it.  Florida is changing me.  It is testing my faith and causing my roots to grow deeper.   It is teaching me to put my faith and trust in Him... to show me each next step... when He knows that I am ready to take them.

I think all of us would prefer that when we are obedient to what God is asking of us, that the reward would be immediate. He just doesn't work that way.  He could give us the entire sentence but He prefers that we stay in a position to constantly seek His will for our lives.  That we are continually trusting Him to guide our steps.  That we are resting in the fact that He is God and we are not...and He will finish His sentences at the perfect time for us.  He will never pull us along faster than our ability to follow Him.