2020 has been incredibly hard for so many people that I love. There has been so much loss, so much grief, so much anxiety, so many challenges, so many questions, way too many storms. I haven't been spared either. 2020 has been harder on me than any other year I've ever faced, including 1998 which, up until now, held the record for hardest year ever.
This year has been a year of storms for me. Some I've been very public about and some I've held close to my chest. Anyone who follows me on Facebook knows that my mom had a horrible car accident in December which resulted in my entire life being turned upside down for five months while she was bedridden. As soon as I got her settled, the process of getting my back fixed began. I had to lose 25lbs in order to even speak to the surgeon about doing a surgery that I so desperately needed. If you think being told that you have to lose weight isn't a storm, then you obviously have never had to give up queso for months. So many of you prayed me through surgery, and all of the complications that came with it. I wasn't prepared for a shattered vertebrae, a leg that was dead with no feeling, smaller screws, and a back brace. I definitely wasn't prepared for the blood clot and blood infection that came just two weeks later. None of this was made any easier by Covid.
What an incredibly difficult year, for me, and for so many others. I want to share what kept going through my head during those difficult days in the hospital. It was something I heard on a show. When I heard it, I paused the screen and rewound it to make sure I heard it correctly. A lady turned to her friend and asked, "Do the storms ever stop coming?" Her friend looked up at her and said, "No, but neither do the rainbows." I was smack dab in the middle of a huge storm in my life and those words hit me to my very core.
I realized the truth of those words. I thought back to all of the storms I've faced in my life, and there have been plenty. God was always right there. He walked me through them, even when I couldn't see Him, or couldn't feel Him. When I looked back, I could see His fingerprints all over the things that had happened in the midst of those storms.
When we are in the middle of the storm, all we can see is the chaos swirling around us. All we can feel are the stirred up emotions. All we can hear is the wind whipping around us, threatening to knock us completely off of our feet. In the midst of the storm....we often can't see Him. Things are too dark and stormy. I think in the middle of those storms, the enemy sends his minions to distort our thoughts. The enemy uses those storms to try to convince us that if God truly loved us, He wouldn't let us suffer this way. I know that I've been a victim of this thinking, but not anymore. God has sealed the truth of His love for me down deep inside my heart.
If you are currently in the middle of a storm, I want to encourage you. This storm will pass. The wind and the rain will die down and if you look up, you will see the rainbow that always comes after the storm. Storms don't last forever.
I held tightly to this truth while my body worked to fight off the infection that was trying to kill me. I hold tightly to it now, while God is working in other areas of my life. I prefer not to go through the storms, but God always uses them to mold and shape me into who He needs me to be. It reminds me of a blog post I wrote a few years ago about how dark times are like a dark room. You can read it by clicking here.
If you've been around for a while, you also know that God speaks to me through music. I recently heard "Walk in the Valley" by Ross King, and it's a reminder that the storms drive me into a deeper grace. Click on the song title and go have a listen. I'm sure the song will bless you too.
Have faith in the storm, my friends. The rainbow is on it's way.
