When Our Dark Times are only a Dark Room

I was reflecting yesterday over some notes in my journal.  When I am reading a good non-fiction or listening to a great sermon, I am learning to keep my journal nearby.  That way, when a concept hits me that I had never considered before, I can write it down and think it over later.

While Robert Morris was talking about how the breaking of the bread turns not enough into more than enough, he also mentioned that some times our dark times are only a dark room.  When a photographer is developing film the old fashioned way (not the Walgreen's photo way),  he doesn't stand in a well lit room full of sunshine and light.  He goes into a dark room.  If the person developing the film isn't completely in the dark, the film gets a little foggy.  In order for the image to be burned in just right, the film has to remain in the dark.  Robert Morris went on to say that sometimes God has to take us to the dark room in order for HIS image to be burned into us just right.

When I heard this, I thought back to the seasons of darkness in my life.  I think about how almost every time I come out of one of those seasons, I can more clearly see God's will for me.  Sometimes those dark seasons come when God has asked me to do really hard things like forgive my Dad.  The emotions of it all became too much, but while I was in the darkness, God was burning in His image of Father in my heart.  Sometimes those dark seasons come when God needs to teach me something.  He knows me, He knows that I draw nearer to Him in the darkness.  He knows that I will scream in the darkness, "LORD, SHOW ME WHAT I SHOULD BE LEARNING HERE BECAUSE I CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE."  I come out on the other side of the darkness with a much clearer picture of who God wants me to be.  I've found that often I have had to enter a season of darkness before I could clearly see any glimpse of the purpose behind God asking me to do a hard thing. Look back on the times you've felt like you were in the dark.  Did you come out with a clearer image?

If you are walking through darkness at the moment, let me encourage you.  A photo has no worth if it stays in the dark forever.  There will come a day when the developer pulls you out of the darkness and shows the world the beautiful image that was created in the process.

Breaking Bread

While I was back home in Kansas City, I had the opportunity to attend several weeks of bible study at my old church.  If you live in KC and are free on Thursday mornings, you should really get yourself to this bible study.  Shoot me a message if you need more details :)

The last week I was there, we were talking about the period of time right after Jesus' resurrection when the two disciples were walking along the road to Emmaus.  Jesus was walking with them but they were blinded and couldn't see that it was Jesus.  The disciples urged this "stranger" to stay with them for the evening.  While Jesus was at the table with them, he took the bread, gave thanks, broke it and began to give it to them.  As soon as the bread was broken, their eyes were opened and they recognized that it was Jesus who had been walking with them all along.  My friend Debi pointed out that we are much the same way.  When the "breaking" happens, we tend to see Jesus a little more clearly.  Perhaps we seek Him out more in the hard times.  We want to draw near to Him because we know Jesus is our only hope.  You know...only she said it much better than that :).

This concept of breaking bread reminded me of a sermon I had heard from Robert Morris.  He was talking about the famous story of the five loaves and the two fishes.  He pointed out that when Jesus was handed those five loaves, He gave thanks and broke the loaves.  It was in the breaking that not enough became more than enough.  When I first heard this sermon, I was just getting ready for my spine surgery.  I had been notified that I wouldn't have a job when I returned from surgery.  We had recently made the decision to put our dog to sleep.  I wrote in my journal, "What in the world is our mighty God going to do with all of the breaking that is happening in my life?  Just like the little boy who gave up his lunch, I want to willingly offer the little I have so that God can break it and multiply it for the good of His people."

In John 6:12, Jesus said,  "...Gather the pieces that are left over. Let nothing be wasted."  That has been my focus.  God will not allow one thing that I have gone through to be wasted.  He will use every ounce of it, as long as I surrender it to Him.  I can't hold on to the broken pieces and refuse to give them back.  I can't hold on to that little piece of bitterness, or those many crumbs of anger that I felt during the breaking.  I can't hold on to the big chunks of would've, could've, should've beens.  I have to hand every single bit of it back to the one who allowed the breaking.  If I don't give it back to Him, it was wasted.

I know quite a few people in my life who are experiencing some "breaking" in their lives.  Allow that breaking to open your eyes to the fact that Jesus has been walking beside you all along..and He still is..and He always will.  Allow God to use the breaking to turn not enough, into more than enough. Surrender the broken pieces.  Let nothing that you are going through be wasted.

And since I'm me, and ya'll know how I am, a song keeps coming to mind.  "Nothing is Wasted" by Jason Gray.  You can listen to it here.  While I'm at it, he has a new Album that just came out called "Where The Light Gets In".  There are no words for how much I love this album including the title track, "The Wound Is Where the Light Gets In".  Good Good stuff!!