Anger Management Epiphany

I had an epiphany just a few minutes ago that I wanted to share. I just realized why God put me in this IT position with my company. I have been doing some form of customer service for my entire life and all of a sudden- He randomly guided me in the direction of IT.

Someone came over to me (Monica- you know who you are) with an issue with our system today. Someone else in the department had been told about the issue a few days ago but he didn't know the full story so he didn't look into it any further. I started working on the issue and got more and more frustrated by the minute because I was told that it was broken but couldn't get a clear understanding of what they were saying the issue was. I sent an e-mail to the UK because they had put a change in the system that was causing adverse effects. I don't know how many of you have worked in the corporate world and dealt with IT much but IT personnel aren't always the clearest with communication. They tend to speak Geek. So here I was super duper frustrated that something on my watch wasn't working correctly and I was powerless to fix it and the rage just starting building in side of me. I can always feel it when it is coming on. I can feel that point in which I am about to lose my composure. I am getting better at recognizing it and keeping the pot from boiling over but sometimes it's really difficult. I felt it and suddenly God made it very clear to me that this in and of itself was the #1 reason that He guided me to my new position. In IT there are a lot of things that you are powerless to control.

I am a control freak. I believe that a lot of that comes from my inability to control the circumstances of my childhood. When I was old enough to control my own life- I grabbed the bull by the horns. I needed a job that would test my control limits often so that I will learn to trust God with ALL things. I have the same issues in my personal life. When the boys start acting like goofballs and I've done all of the things that I know to do and nothing is working..I feel the rage start to boil up inside of me. I usually do a great job of keeping that anger in check but I grew up with a family of yellers. I HATE being a yeller. I pray often for God to continue to work on me in that area. I am waaaay better than I was 10 years ago but I still have a lot of room for growth.

So I am in this position to learn how to control my frustration and my anger when I can't control the circumstances around me. I am learning how to give the controls to God in ALL things. I am thankful that God will refine us in the fire when He knows it's best for us.

Have a blessed weekend.