BUT, I love you

There was a Facebook post recently that questioned some mainstream thinking along theological lines.  There was some back and forth but it was this comment from an acquaintance that stuck in my gut,  "But I love people too much to allow them to believe lies that will cost them for an eternity.  Love tells the truth even when it's hard or hurts."  I have been wrestling with why it affected me so much.  I will do my best to put words to my feelings here.

There is not one Christian denomination that does not believe that God is LOVE.  You will hear it from every pulpit, regardless of doctrine or theology.  What I have found is that "love" means something different to each of them.  

Recently, "love" has looked like me being told that while the pastor loves my spirit and my heart for worship and prayer and that he loves that I sit in the front row and participate with my whole heart....and that I'm a blessing..... I will never be allowed to become a member of his church or serve in any official capacity.  

Recently, "love" has looked like being asked to leave a prayer group because it made the other members uncomfortable to pray with me now that it's obvious I don't believe the way they do.  It's not that I've stopped believing in Jesus, I've just stopped agreeing with all of the doctrines of the "church."  

Recently, "love" has looked like being told that - in the eyes of God- I will never be married.

This "love" has been extremely hurtful.  Every single person who has "loved" me in this way has gone out of their way to say, "BUT, I love you," which some how makes their actions seem okay in their eyes.  That kind of love feels nothing like the love that I feel from Jesus.

Love doesn't cast out.  Love doesn't push aside.  Love doesn't make others feel like less than.

Love is  patient
Love is kind
Love does not envy
Love does not boast
Love is not proud
Love does not dishonor others
Love is not self-seeking

Love is not easily angered
Love keeps no record of wrongs
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with truth
Love protects
Love trusts
Love hopes
Love perseveres

If your actions and your attitude towards others don't line up with these things...it probably doesn't feel very loving to the person who is on the receiving end.

But Holly....we are sharing the truth "in love".  Here's the truth...the Bible is the LIVING word of God.  You can read a scripture in January that the Holy Spirit will use to speak right to where you are walking and then read the same scripture again in August and the Holy Spirit will use it to speak a different truth.  Same scripture - different truths.

The Bible was used for decades to justify slavery.  The Bible was then used for decades to justify banning interracial marriage.  The Bible is currently being used to justify the way homosexuals are being treated in society.

I have spent twenty years digging into scripture.  I have read numerous commentaries from those who are certain homosexuality is a sin and from those who are certain it isn't.  It is amazing how many different interpretations you can find on just one verse of scripture.   How do we know who is right and who is wrong?  We don't.  We must take it to the Holy Spirit who has been given to us, to guide and direct us on our walk.  We must pray for wisdom and discernment.  This is really all any of us can do.

What I struggle with is those who are 100% certain of their rightness--that their interpretation of the scripture is the only truth.  I am not 100% certain of my rightness and my beliefs have changed and grown.  God knows when I am ready to stretch Him outside of the box that I've put Him in.  I have found that those who are so certain can only come to the conclusion if I don't agree with them, that I am listening to the enemy...or my feelings...or my flesh...or my emotions...or "the world"...or Jen Hatmaker... and letting them dictate "truth" in my life.  It can't possibly be that I have diligently studied the scripture and come to a different conclusion than them.

But Holly....I love you too much to let you keep sinning without pointing out your sin.  I am glad that you love me and thank you for your concern.  You have pointed out that you think I'm sinning.  I don't believe it's sin.  Now, where do we go from here?   Can you treat me the way that you do every other sinner in your life....so basically...everyone?  Does agreeing to disagree have to lead to separation?   Even if you are right, why does my sin exclude me from basic rights and inclusion, when yours doesn't?

I have spent twenty years remaining silent.  I have played by "the rules."  I became someone that I wasn't in an attempt to "fit in" with the church.  I let pastors and mentors speak "truth" to me about who I had to be and how I had to act in order to be "right" with the Lord.  Anyone who knows my story knows that I have spent my life in worship, service, and obedience to the Lord.  My eyes are fixed squarely on Jesus, and last I heard....that was the key to my salvation.  God knows my heart and knows that I am doing my best to seek His will for my life...and share His love with the world.   I am a work in progress, and good Lord willing...I will be until the day that I die.