We Don't Deserve It Anymore Than They Do

I've got so many things on my heart that I want to share but I reckon I'll take them one post at a time.

Several years ago, I was sitting at lunch with a coworker on a business trip in Brazil.  I didn't know him very well so most of our conversation was just idle chit chat.  All of a sudden, he turned to me and asked, "Have you always been a religious person?"  It kind of blindsided me.  I told him that I didn't really consider myself a religious person as I had been deeply hurt by "religion".  I told him that my heart's desire was to chase after Jesus with all of me.  He had a few questions for me and he shared how, he too, had been hurt by "religion".  That after the death of his Mom, he didn't believe there was a God.  I explained how the death of my Brother actually brought me to the Lord.  As usual, it came down to the "How do you know God is real" question and I gave my usual answer, "I know where I came from, I know who I was, and I know what He brought me out of."  I went on to explain that at one point I had been homeless, where my only salvation came in the form of the Denny's conference room.  God had taken me from that place to a place where I was on a business trip in BRAZIL!!!  I explained some of the times when God had shown up in a BIG way in my life. Then he dropped the bomb of a question on me.  He said, "What makes you so special that God has favor on you and not other people?"  I really didn't know how to answer at the time.  I might have said something about being lucky or something.  That question haunted me for a while after that trip.  Why have I received God's favor when others haven't?  I sought out the answer through prayer and God finally revealed the answer.  My blessings come from obedience.

God has asked me to do a great number of difficult things in my life.  I would like to pretend that I always jumped at the chance to follow His will but that isn't true.  Sometimes, I knew the things He was asking me to do were going to hurt.  I didn't want to do them but eventually, I always knew that what He was asking for me to do would make me a better person.  Sometimes what He asked me to do had nothing to do with me.  It would result in a major blessing for someone else.  Sometimes there has been no rhyme or reason to what He's asked me to do and to this day, I still don't understand it.

The reason this is on my heart is in regards to our new beautiful house.  I have posted a few pictures of it on Facebook and the comments have been incredible.  Most of the comments are about how happy everyone is for us, how beautiful the house is, or about how much we deserve it.  While I am so blessed by the comments, I haven't posted a response as I don't know what to say.  There is a part of me that feels guilty for having such a nice home.  We have friends that are struggling to pay their mortgage.  We have friends trying to come up with money to adopt.  We have friends who don't know where their next meal is coming from.  Who are we that we get to have this beautiful house in paradise?  We don't deserve it.  Don't get me wrong.  We have worked hard to get to a place where we could buy it.  I spent years juggling travel with spending time with my family.  Leanna worked hard to get her Masters degree and she teaches with such a passion.  We faithfully gave our first fruits to God, even when we weren't sure how to keep the lights on.  We worked HARD to get out of debt.  We gave freely of our time and money to whatever/whoever God called us to.  We poured into the live's of children through our Junior Bible Quiz ministry (even when some in the church didn't want us to).

The thing is, I know dozens of people who live out their faith just the way we do.  They are obedient, faithful, giving, loving, and amazing.  They are all of these things, yet life is a daily struggle.  See, we don't deserve this beautiful house any more than they do.  This house is nothing but a straight up blessing from the Lord.  I hope I never take that for granted.  We prayed about what type of house to look for.  We consistently heard that we needed a place that will be a peaceful haven, and not just for us.  When I found the house and the price tag was at the top end of our budget, I took it back to the Lord.  I wanted to make sure that I didn't put our house above being financially able to help when God calls us to.  The Lord put my heart at ease.  This house is a blessing for us, but it is also going to be a blessing for others.  We wanted desperately for it to be a place where people can come visit and enjoy the beach, or Disney, or just a quiet place to put their feet up and read a book.

There is a peace when you walk in the front door of our home that I can't quite explain.  I guess you'll just have to come down and feel it for yourself.