It's all in the struggle

So I just wanted to share what has been on my heart today. I have been battling some heaviness in my spirit lately. I don't want to say it's depression, just more like spiritual warfare going on inside of me. I have been having a hard time feeling God in my life. I know He is there and I am going to keep chasing Him no matter what my "feelings" are.


Things have been hectic around our house for quite some time. We have been battling illnesses, surgeries and deaths. We have been struggling financially even though we are making better financial decisions. We have been trying to lose weight and the process has been slow and painful. I do mean PAINFUL!! Get yourself a personal trainer who is a big fan of lunges and you'll know what I'm talking about. I just felt like I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders.


I talked to my relate group from church about it the other day and asked for prayer. It sure is helping...if you are struggling with anything, I highly suggest you get yourselves some strong prayer warriors in your life. I woke up Monday morning renewed. I could feel some of the darkness coming up off of me. God has shown me so much in the past 2 days including the way that I got myself in this mess. See..I think I am in control of my life. I think that I can conquer the world. So when things aren't going my way...I think it is me that is failing. I have to pretend on the outside like all is right with the world so that others won't think I'm a failure. I tend to look at the negative things in my life..look at all of the things that aren't going according to MY plan. Geesh...I've been chasing Jesus since 1998...you would think I would know by now that there is no such thing as MY plan. God puts circumstances in our lives for a reason. That reason may be to teach us something or better yet..it may be so that you can help someone else who will be going through the same circumstance later in life. It isn't punishment for something we did wrong...it's an adventure..sometime's painful..but always worth the ride.


I was reading a book today called "My Faith Still Holds"...and there was a quote in there from Condoleeza Rice that said, "Struggle doesn't just strengthen us to survive hard times - it is also the key foundation for true optimism and accomplishment. Indeed, personal achievement without struggle somehow feels incomplete and hollow." WOW...did that just hit me when I read that. It was as if God was sitting next to me, taking all of the pieces of the jumbled puzzle that has been life in the past year...and He just snapped them all together to show me the big picture. If I was trying to get my finances straightened out and it was super easy and everything went my way...I wouldn't stay on a budget for long...I would just assume that if I got into financial trouble again..it would be super easy to get back on track. If I lost the 132 lbs that I am trying to lose and I did it all in a few months...I wouldn't keep it off because if I could take it off that quickly then who cares...BRING ON THE MEXICAN FOOD!! In ALL things...it's all in the struggle. Don't get me wrong...when an unexpected blessing drops in your lap...it is something to treasure..but it usually means the most when you have been trudging along first.





I can quit rambling now...I just want to encourage anyone who is reading this..that there is hope and joy in the struggle. This too shall pass...and when it does...I pray that God will show you all of the good that came from it.

Please leave comments...even if they are anonymous. It's good to know that I am not just typing to the wind. GOD BLESS!!